Yes, Mary is on her own. She enjoyed her freedom this summer, and decided not to come back. Well she's 18; she can do that. But it could be good for her in the long run. She is going to an alternative high school, and will probably graduate a year earlier than planned, thanks to their credit recovery program. She very much wants to graduate, and move on with her life. School has never been fun for her.
And she's working; the only one in our family to have a nearly fulltime job. Good for her! It's only minimum wage, but her expenses are very low, as she is living with friends rent free; so it doesn't take much to keep her head above water. compare this with my $1,500 mortgage payment, $240 car payment, $600 utility bills, $330 insurance, and on and on. Life is much easier if you can avoid long term financial commitments.
But as I think about Mary, (and I do miss her a lot), it's not all smiles and joy. She didn't leave on the best of terms, and that makes us sad. She's at that age where she thinks we're horrible people, and horrible parents. I hope she gets past this, and soon. In addition, she is in danger of falling into the trap that we all step into at one time or another - thinking you are in love with someone, and perhaps committing to that person, simply because he is there. He's not a great match, but he isn't abusive, and sex is wonderful, so on we go. I did it too; I lived with a woman for two years who wasn't an ideal match, but she was nice, and she was there. If you didn't fall into this trap, I'm sure you know others who have. It's all too common. I just hope Mary doesn't invest heavily in her new, nextdoor boyfriend, because he's just a kid (emotionally), and he's not a good match for her in any case. I can see that - anybody can see that - except perhaps for Mary, who is in the midst of it. If she can avoid this temptation, then she will grow and mature, and moving out will be the best decision she ever made.
Returning to the theme of this blog, Mary is probably healthier than she's ever been. She is responsible for her own food - and for financial reasons she hardly ever eats out. She shops carefully, and cooks carefully, and as a result, her headaches are almost gone. This despite a home filled with cigarette smoke and a cat. Amazing! She gets to school, and to work, almost every day. In contrast, she use to miss approximately 2 days a week, sick in bed, when she was living with us. Did we do something wrong? Of course not. I'll take none of the blame, thank you very much. Many times we caught her drinking bright red juice, with red#40 displayed prominently on the label. Duh! Other transgressions were equally as ridiculous. Sometimes you have to be completely responsible for yourself before you can make good decisions.